I Wanna Tell You What I'm Feeling
by Saya1450
Summary: For three long years Numair Salmalin has been a friend and mentor to Veralidaine Sarrasri. But now, why are his feelings suddenly changing? And what is he to do about them? DN


Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters!If I did I would be a famous author. They belong solely to Tamora Pierce, and not to me or anyone else. I also do not own the song used in my fic.Hope you like my fic! (It has lots of DN goodnessin it) I worked long and hard to complete it. Enjoy!

Saya1450-

I Wanna Tell You What I'm Feeling  
By Saya1450

_Out here in the quiet of the night,  
Beneath the stars and moon_

Numair Salmalìn shifted quietly in his bedroll, careful not to disturb the sleeping form of Veralidaine Sarrasri, a wildmage and his student, who lay wrapped in her blankets at the other side of the camp. It was a beautifully clear night with not a cloud in the sky. The moon shone brightly down, illuminating their rough camp in silvery light, the stars twinkling in the dark sky.

The two of them were returning to Corus after a quick visit to George and Alanna at Pirate's Swoop. Numair smiled slightly, remembering how delighted the twins, Alan and Aly, had been that Daine was staying with them for three whole days. Alas, their time spent with the family had been cut short as their duties as Tortall's Wild Mage and Black Robe Mage had soon called them back to the palace.

_We both know we've got somethin' on our minds  
We won't admit,  
But it's true_

Numair sighed dubiously as he thought about Daine. He had been noticing little things about his student lately that he hadn't noticed before. The gracefulness in the way she walked, her beautiful ringing laugh, the way she smiled at him. Every time she placed one of her small delicate hands on his arm or shoulder his pulse began quickening, and his breath came short. Sometimes he found himself wanting to pull her into his arms, and run his lips through her soft wavy hair. These thoughts scared him, and he didn't know what to think anymore.

_You look at me,  
I look away._

Numair forgot himself, and sat up suddenly, sighing heavily. The bundle on the other side of the camp that was Daine stirred, and sat up too. Daine looked across the camp to where Numair sat.

"Numair?" She asked sleepily, yawning quietly, "Is something wrong?" Her eyes met his for a moment, a worried glint in them. Numair glanced away quickly, a flaming blush creeping across his cheeks; he was glad the darkness hid it. She looked so beautiful with the full moonlight shining on her face, her thick hair falling loosely onto her shoulders. He silently cursed himself for waking her up after their long day of traveling.

"No, nothing's the matter. Go back to sleep, Magelet. Goodnight." She nodded tiredly, and lay down again. Numair promptly followed suit.

_Chorus:  
I wanna tell you what I'm feeling, but I  
don't know how to start  
I wanna tell you, but now I'm afraid that  
you might break my heart  
Oh, why should anything so easy, ever be so hard to do?  
I wanna tell you what I'm feeling, and to  
say that, I love you._

Numair stood, nervously pacing his room, deep in thought, debating the matter of Daine. They had arrived in Corus only the day before, and had had barely time to settle in. Jonathan had been on him immediately, giving him updates on the latest move of the immortals. When he had finally found time to be alone thoughts of Daine swamped him. Every time he thought of her his heart beat faster. She was so beautiful. But why now, of all times, were his feelings for her changing? She had been his fast friend for three years now, ever since they had met, him, stuck deep in his hawk shape, and Daine, just getting over the grief the raiders had brought upon her. Why were his feelings changing?

And how do I tell her? He thought suddenly, stopping dead in his tracks. What if she thinks she loves me when she would really prefer a younger man? He was fourteen years older than her, and her teacher. Many would not think it right that Numair loved his student. But what if she took it the wrong way, and turned him down. That was Numair's biggest fear: that she would break his heart. He continued his rapid pacing.

_I practice all the things that I could say,  
Line by line,  
Every word_

"Daine, I want to tell you something… No, that's not right." Numair clenched his fists tight, and then released them in frustration. What was the right way to tell Daine? "I love you and I hope you feel… no." It was harder than it looked. "Daine, you are the love of my life… Ach, that's too dramatic!" Numair sighed, and continued trying. "Gods, what am I to do?"

_I tell myself today could be the day,  
But every time,  
I lose my nerve_

"Daine?" Numair sounded deadly serious. Daine glanced up at her approaching teacher expectantly, "Yes?"

"Um…well…can I…uh…" Numair stuttered wordlessly, avoiding her eyes.

"For Mithros' sake Numair, just spit it out!" Daine grinned at her teacher's stuttering pace, "The Hag got your tongue?"

"Um…well…can I talk to you a moment? Privately?" He asked at last, still avoiding her eyes.

Daine studied his face for a minute. Finally she shrugged, and said, "Sure, Numair." Numair led them through the winding halls of the place until they reached his rooms. Sighing, he unlocked the door and stepped inside. It was dark, but that was easily fixed when he drew the curtains back. The midmorning sun streamed in, illuminating Numair's somewhat unclean quarters.

Daine wrinkled her nose, "Looks like you need a bit of cleaning up done in here."

Numair shook his head, but didn't answer her. More pressing matters were weighing on his mind.

"What is it?' Daine asked at last, breaking the silence between them. She seemed concerned.

"Daine, I…" Numair began. He seemed to be having a silent struggle with himself. Daine waited, wondering what her friend was up to.

"I…uh…I like…you cooking! Yah." He glanced up quickly to see Daine's eyebrows shoot up.

"That's what you brought me here to tell me?" Daine asked in disbelief.

Numair shrugged, and turned away, "Yes, I guess."

"Whatever, Numair," Daine rolled her eyes. She couldn't help but have a feeling that Numair had not brought her here to compliment her cooking.

I look at you, you look away

Dained sighed as she began to reach inside herself, and draw forth some of the copper fire that was her Wild Magic. Numair had her at another lesson. She grinned at her teacher in triumph as she completed the task quickly. He smiled back.

They worked for the next hour or so until Numair told her that she had had enough of a lesson for one day. Then, just as she was about to leave, Daine glanced up into Numair's face, and saw something in his eyes that both excited, and scared her. She glanced quickly away to find her cheeks were flaming red. What was up with that?

_Chorus_

_Why, whydo you turn away?  
It must be, you're afraid like me  
I try, but I can't pretend that I  
Don't feel for you the way I do  
Can't you see?_

Numair ran his long fingers through his black hair in frustration. Several opportunities to tell his student his true feelings had presented themselves in the last few weeks. Though he had told himself numerous times that it was now or never, he had always managed to avoid telling her.

It was hopeless, Numair told himself dejectedly, and Perin the clerk wasn't doing anything to help. He had caught the young clerk kissing Daine several times in the past year. It always angered him to see another man playing so lightly with his Daine's feelings.

Numair sighed. Daine was too young for him anyway, and he too old for her. Even if he ever did muster up enough courage to tell Daine, the relationship would never work. One of them would only end up hurt. Daine would be looked down upon, and talked about behind her back for the rest of her life, because of him. That was something Numair Salmalìn could never live with.

_Chorus:  
I wanna tell you what I'm feeling, but I  
don't know how to start  
I wanna tell you, but now I'm afraid that  
you might break my heart  
Oh, why should anything so easy, ever be so hard to do?  
I wanna tell you what I'm feeling, and to  
say that, I love you. X2_


End file.
